Saturday, February 18, 2006

i've just come to realise that my paternal side of the family is so much like Joy Luck Club.
so noisy, so much fun, so close yet so far.
really, being with them is not the same as being with my momsie's.
my momsie's is much closer, and most importantly, there's the presence of warmth and
close family bond.
i feel somewhat just like another stranger with my dad's.
it's just so difficult to blend in with them,
understand their jokes and laugh with them,
talk personal stuff with them or even going into their rooms and chill and what not.
still, i'm so very glad i have my momsie's side.
especially the very close ones, like my ever so lovely cousie Emi,
who knows me inside out,
knows my friends,
knows my likes and dislikes,
knows it all.

speaking of which, the parents and sister have gone over to her new place for sleepover.
in other words, i'm left out, here alone at home, bumming.
rey's out the whole day to God knows where.
i'm half happy and half regretful for not tagging along to their place,
but i just don't feel like spending the time there.
got my dad to send me home before they head over to Emi's place.
i'm having cramps, and that explains it all.
the flow is back. the period of period.
dang!
such bad timing, i know.
miss out on all those fun.
i feel like such an ass, not knowing what's happening over there.
what's worse, i don't even know how her new place look like
because for the past few days my parents have been there, i was at home,
being such a goody, and doing my homework.
anyhoos, i just came back from my aunt's place,
from her 6th wedding anniversary-cum some other cousies' birthdays.
all in one.
so much fun, so happening.
yet like i've said, i didn't really get along well with them,
and for once, not really once la, i sat there,
shutting my mouth all along.
then again, not all along because i ate soooper lots of times.
=)
at least another half kilo added.

when i got home, my whole space, the corridor was in such a messy state.
thanks to some dumb people upstairs.
such uncivilised people.
think they have problems or whatsoever.
shoes all thrown over to the ground floor,
toy figurines, rubbish, and everything you can imagine thrown from upstairs.
and when i was half changing out from my jeans, walking around the place,
two police officers stood in front of my place.
trying to clear off the mess and investigate the shiz.
man, do they have issues.

btw, my mom and myself are back to our normal selves.
no more issues, except she almost used up my whole bottle of adidas perfume.
gawd, it's as though she drank the whole bottle up.
i counted at least 3(?) days of no communication with her.
lollers.
not supposed to be a laughing matter,
but i can't help thinking that it's pretty dumb not to talk to each other over the not-opening-the-gate-for-me incident.
but hey, she called me an insolent child.
wth.
of course i couldn't accept that.
i'm the type who can't tolerate nonsense from people.
even my parents please.
they call me rude, dumb, lazy etc etc,
i won't open my mouth to talk to them.
there's this thing in me that doesn't want to lose out to them.
if i communicate with them, i'll be such a loser.
i expect them to stop the nonsense first.
not to the extent of making them apologise though.
just talk to me, and they'll be the losers.
haha.
childish? bad?
who cares.
no giving in, unless it's the last resort.
so mel, still having issues with your momsie?

asides please.
another thing that i realised.
i was in the bathroom and i spent at least five minutes staring back at my reflection from the huge mirror,
and i thought i look pretty good in eyeliners.
in fact i think i look more alive in them.
no eyeliners, and i look just like any other kiddos.
offer me other make-up stuff, i won't accept.
eyeliners and lip balm/gloss (no lipstick, please) are good enough.
i don't wish to thicken my face with those stuff.
eventually they'll melt away when i sweat anyway.
that explains why i get so pissed when i lose them eyeliners.
they're that important.
then again, another realisation,
i'm becoming so self-conscious.
looking fab is a must now,
even if wherever i'm heading to is just one bus stop away or what not,
i still need to dress up.
unless, it's school.
you see how sloppy i look in those uniforms right?
with my hair all over the place.
my attitude is so much different in the school world than in the outside world.
two different me.

i'm getting bored by the second.
i have yet to get my work done,
some math and A math questions,
Commonwealth essay,
higher malay,
and some physics questions.
wayyyyyy to goooo...

i'm off now baby.
gonna go get my cool facial wash,
and get down to work.
after which, of course, go get my beauty sleep.

lurvyahs.

10:45 PM